Nine Lives (2016)

I’d like to pitch you all a film about a workaholic father who neglects his family, who has a whimsical, eye-opening curse cast upon him by Christopher Walken. This curse helps our businessman protagonist understand just how important family is, and the dangers of neglecting close friends and loved ones. Obsessed with designing buildings, the character will witness first-hand […]

Silly Movie 2 (2004)

Hey, the title card is upside down! This is just Silly, Movie! Hey everyone, remember that hilarious parody / spoof film, Silly Movie 1? What’s that? No…. ? Oh, well of course not – that’s because it doesn’t exist! There is no first Silly Movie! So how then, could there possibly be an unfunny, unwatchable, jokeless […]

Pass Thru (2016)

I was extremely fortunate to attend the Toronto premiere of Neil Breen’s latest film masterpiece Pass Thru (2016) this week…. and boy, what an incredible night it was! The screening itself was surprisingly packed, with angry late-comers being turned away from the sold-out theatre. Before the film even started, there was an excited energy resonating throughout […]

Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

First of all, let me say that I truly, sincerely enjoy Jason and the Argonauts. I always have. It’s one of the most memorable sword-and-sandal epics ever made. Of course, even as a kid I could see the film’s visual shortcomings, including some of the most hilariously dated special effects of all time. That being said, I have a lot of […]

ShitShow Showdown: The Fantastic Four (1994) vs. Fantastic Four (2015)

A bold choice for the 2015 reboot to rename the series ‘Fant- Four -Stic.’ Today two terrible, awful, loathsome, ridiculous, pathetic, shameful, lame and worthless movies go head to head for the title of worst Fantastic Four motion picture ever produced in the history of the universe. Of the three Fantastic Four origin story movies (including the 2005 […]

Pay the Ghost (2015)

Oh, Mr. Cage, how desperate you must be. While idly scrolling through an endless minefield of garbage Netflix content, I came across a title just vague and stupid enough to catch my attention. Pay the Ghost? What the hell does that even mean? As a horror/thriller film, the title should be enticing and mysterious, and while that […]

Pages of Death (1962)

Watch Pages of Death here! Hey you, down there! Time for one of those classic government-funded ‘duck and cover’ type propaganda short films! Designed to control the masses with fear, Pages of Death is a cautionary tale about the dangers of…. reading. That’s right kids, next time your parents tell you to go to your room and read, […]

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Rrrrraaaawwwwwrrrrrrrmmmmphhhh. Romf The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978), runnnarrd Chewbacca ragggggggg, Mala (Mickey Morton), roarrph Lumpy (Patty Maloney), ran rumnnnnfffrrr Itchy (Paul Gale). Romgg eughhhhhhhphhh rom rum raaallllrrrrr. Romphhh rarrrrnnnnn runslughhnnff rowrrr ragggg! Rawwwhhhhhhh! Rowaraggg rrrawrr sromph romf rwrrrr. Romph rawrr rugnhhhhhllll, Kashyyyk, rammmmph regggg Wookies. Rommph rahmm, and then Mala finally calls Luke Skywalker […]

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972)

If you’ve never heard of Rifftrax, stop what you’re doing and look them up. Now. I owe a lot to the these guys; without MST3K veterans Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett, I wouldn’t know about the magical little film Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. This is a tough one to sit through. In fact it would […]